blogInsert before and after ‘selfie’ here

Look there’s no need to make a complete scene, but do allow yourself a silent little weep when you encounter the heavenly food at Thonga Beach Lodge. How often does one find food that is truly delicious at the same time as being wholeheartedly healthy? Here you can camp out at the lunchtime buffet table, come back again for the high tea, eat every course of the glamorous dinner and start all over again with a cooked breakfast – all without self-recrimination of any kind.

The Thonga open deck lunches have all the right colours – bright green salads, red and yellow roasted peppers, orange caramelized butternut, green-black pumpkin seeds and olive coloured … well olives. You will find creamy Gorgonzola, lemon glazed chicken, glossy asparagus and fresh muscles in white wine sauce.

Dinners have creative spicing on sustainable fish, plentiful pesto super-green sauces, tender ostrich fillets and succulent pork.

If the thought of too much health makes you lose the will to live, fear not – decadent puddings and teas elevate the meals from worthy to worshipful. I meet the friends-forever kind of drunken chocolate mousse and I take a defensive stance over the red velvet muffins at the tea table (they have the good icing over which many a war has started from Mabibi to Manchester). I have a fleeting image of finding squashed cupcakes in my luggage back home, shrug and take another.

Despite these delicacies, combined with the plentiful beach activities and visits to the serene spa, you will come out of this holiday looking the healthiest, happiest version of yourself. Take a ‘selfie’ before and after photo to show the change from pudgy, pasty, stressy old you to slim, smooth, toned, shiny, happy new you – with just a hint of cream cheese icing on your nose to authenticate the image.